My nipple is on Facebook.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize