you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
