i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
