She is in my trunk
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
