So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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