Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
