you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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