Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
