we're blogging at a bar
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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