your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
