I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
