YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
