You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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