We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
