oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
