I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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