do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
