Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
