If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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