I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
