Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
