Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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