hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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