Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
