worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I touched a dick in church today
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
