I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize