Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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