Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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