The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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