Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
