six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize