She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
