the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
