is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
