Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
