i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
