oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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