Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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