respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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