Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
