Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
