so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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