it was like fucking gandolphs beard
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize