its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
