could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Your cock deserves a montage
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
