I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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