you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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