i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
