When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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