so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
