I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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