Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
