My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
