Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize