Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
