erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Vodka?
Forever.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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