I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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