she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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