Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
