I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
