she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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