I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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