I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
