who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
