im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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