I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
