i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
