I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Randomize