3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize