I am puke
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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