Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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