Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
