im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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