I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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