i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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