How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
