I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
